Letting Go Of A Grudge

How many of you have a hard time letting go of a grudge? You deeply resent someone for something they said or did, and you refuse to forgive that person. You can’t forget it. You keep talking to others about it. You plot to get even.
 
Herodias held a grudge against John because he had pointed out sin in her life. “Therefore Herodias held it against him and wanted to kill him…” (Read Mark 6:17-28).
 
Maybe none of us would go as far as Herodias with our grudges but often they cause us to live with great bitterness that causes us to lash out at others. How many relationships have been destroyed? How many times have we destroyed another’s character or reputation? Why? Because we would not let the thing rest until the opportunity to get even finally arrived.
 
Holding grudges can ruin your soul, the soul of others and bring great reproach upon Christ and His church. So, let's learn how God teaches us to let go of a grudge before we do anymore harm.
 
Be willing to forgive and forget.

• This is not an option (Mat. 6:12, 14-15).
• God teaches us to forgive (Eph. 4:30; Col. 3:13) and forget (Heb. 8:12).
• Read Mat. 18:21-35. Peter’s offer of seven times was generous, three times was the going rate, but Jesus teaches us to put no limits on our forgiveness.

 
Don’t keep a record of the wrongs you have suffered.

• Love refuses to keep any record of wrongs you may feel you have suffered (1 Cor. 13:5 “thinks no evil” – the word translated “thinks” here means “to take an inventory, count, number” according to Strong’s Greek).
• Does your spouse ever get historical? Not hysterical, but does your spouse like to bring up the mistakes you have made in the past, counting them off one after another?
• We need to leave those things in the past and quit bringing them up again and again.

 
Look for good in the other person.

• Love makes a diligent effort to see the good in the other person (1 Cor. 13:7 “believes all things” – thinks the best of the other person, gives that the person the benefit of the doubt rather than always being suspicious).
• Paul taught us to focus our thoughts on the good not the bad (Phi. 4:8).

 
Reject a “get even” spirit.

• Paul teaches us that a true Christian will make every effort to get along with others, doing them good despite how they may treat us, and let God take care of righting all the wrongs (Rom. 12:17-21).
• Paul followed his own inspired teaching when he was wronged (2 Tim. 4:14 “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works.”)
• Leaving it all with God, will bring peace to your heart but holding hatred in your heart will hurt you much more than all the injustices, wrongs and hurts you may have received from others.

 
Repent of your sins.

• Herodias needed to repent of her wrongdoing, and not take it out on the preacher.
• We must all sorrow in a godly way that we might repent of our sins when such is called for and lay aside our bitterness, jealousy, anger, vengeance and hatred towards others (2 Cor. 7:10).

 
Go to the person and work it out between yourselves.

• Follow the Scriptures and go to the one you feel has offended you and work it out between yourselves. Matthew 5:23-25 tells us what to do if we are in the wrong. Matthew 18:15-17 and Luke 17:3 tells us what to do if our brother is in the wrong.
• Privately, but personally confront the issue. Don’t talk behind their back and tell everyone else about it.

 
Grudge bearing can be serious and has eternal consequences. Let us always give diligence to follow God’s advice and eliminate holding grudges at home, school, or wherever they may exist…”looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Heb. 12:15).
 
God could have held a lot of grudges against us, but He forgives and forgets it all (Heb. 8:12)! Won’t you receive His forgiveness, today?

(This article was adapted from "Nursing A Grudge" by Darryl Jocheus)