​In this chapter Paul gave concessions, commands, and judgments. He also talked about what he wishes for us, and about what is good and what is better. We must be careful: 1) to distinguish between these things, and 2) also recognize that what Paul wrote in this chapter is not human opinion, but the words of a God-inspired apostle of Jesus Christ (1:1; 14:37; cf. 7:6-10, 17, 19, 25-26, 28, 35-40). As “All Scripture,” 1 Corinthians 7 “is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
 
Verses 1-9
 
This chapter is part of a letter by Paul to the troubled church in Corinth written in response to a letter they had written to him. We do not have that letter so when we read Paul’s response it is kind of like listening to one side of a phone conversation. You can only surmise what was in their letter by what Paul said in his. Sometimes it appears that he is quoting what they said in their letter and then commenting on it. Notice, verse 1, “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch [euphemism for sexual intercourse] a woman.” Apparently, the Corinthian brethren were encouraging celibacy. Here is Paul’s response.
 
Paul pointed out the sin of sexual immorality that is often associated with celibacy (v. 2a). This has been particularly demonstrated in churches that require celibacy. Horrible stories have been reported in the past of babies born out of wedlock hidden in the walls of these churches. Still today we have seen how that such places often become breeding grounds for homosexuality and pedophilia. The apostle Paul warned that “some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry” (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Sexual immoralities (Greek is plural) are one of the evil consequences of such a practice.
 
Paul told them to allow a man and a woman to fulfill their desires for one another in marriage, but he did not command marriage (vv. 2b-6). God said from the beginning that it was not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). That is why God made the woman for the man and brought them together as husband and wife (vv. 21-24). Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
 
It appears that the Corinthian brethren were arguing for celibacy even for those who were married, but Paul reminded them that the husband and wife belong to each other and that they must not deprive one another. This does not allow mates to exploit or abuse one another sexually but calls for mutual consideration. Each one should seek to understand and to fulfill the needs of the other. It must not be what do I want, but what does my mate need from me. This makes their coming together a blessed and beautiful expression of their love and care for one another that will only strengthen their bond as husband and wife.
 
Paul did give an exception here: “except by consent.” There were qualifications put on this consent: 1) “for a time” – this is not for an indefinite undecided period but a fixed, definite time that both agree upon. 2) “that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer” – this is for a greater spiritual purpose, not upon our own whims. Marriage is important but our relationship with God is even more important. Of course, there are health problems and other things beyond our control that might keep a husband and wife from coming together but Paul is speaking generally here. 3) “and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” – this is not to be a permanent separation.
 
These words from Paul are still quite relevant today. In our busy world, we must be careful not to forget or neglect our marriages in this regard. Also, do not misunderstand Paul. He did not command anyone to get married, nor did he command anyone to deprive their spouse for a time of fasting and prayer. But if you choose to marry or need to take time for fasting and prayer, you may. Both things are permitted but no one is bound to do either. Paul made it clear, “I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.”
 
Paul wished that all were willing and able like him to remain celibate (v. 7). When Paul wrote this letter, he was single. He may have been married before (cf. Acts 26:10 may indicate he was a member of the Sanhedrin council, and such members were normally married). If so, he was divorced or a widow when he wrote this letter.
 
Later in this chapter Paul explained why he desired this for them all (vv. 25-40). Here he shared his inspired wisdom; he was advising them about what would be good for them, but still allowing them to make their own decision in this matter (vv. 25, 40). He expressly said that whether they chose to marry or not to marry they did not sin (vv. 28, 36).
 
There were two reasons why he advised them against marriage: 1) He wanted to spare them trouble in the flesh during the present distress (vv. 26-28). This is a reference to persecution that would be even more painful to endure for those who were married. If one were on his own, he would not suffer any anguish over a wife, or children that he might have in that marriage. 2) He wanted them to be without care to serve the Lord without distraction (vv. 29-40). He reminded them that their time here was short; that they should consider nothing here as permanent; that they should live their lives for the Lord. The married are at a disadvantage in this regard: “He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife” (vv. 32-33). He added, “And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction” (v. 35). And to the widow he said, “she is happier if she remains as she is [i.e., unmarried]” (v. 40).
 
These are still good arguments to be made for living a celibate life, and those who choose to do so for the Lord’s sake should be highly commended for their sacrifice and their dedication to Christ. But as we may learn from Jesus in Matthew 19: 10-12, and as Paul admitted here in our text, not everyone is gifted to forgo marriage.
 
Paul agreed with the Corinthian brethren that it is “good” for the unmarried and the widows to remain celibate, but he also concludes that it is “better” to marry than to burn with passion. The phrase “with passion” is not in the Greek but added here by the NKJV (as is indicated by the italics) to give the sense of this passage. It brings us back to where he began with the problem of sexual immorality. If their lust (which can powerfully rage within) cannot be kept in check, let them marry. It is not sinful to marry but it is sinful to commit sexual immorality. Therefore, marriage is the better (more advantageous) choice for them. Consider Paul’s advice to the younger widows to marry because they desire to marry and lest they become idle, gossips, and busybodies (1 Tim. 5:11-15).
 
Some individuals have taken Paul’s words here out of context and misapplied this passage to justify entering and remaining in unlawful marriages. They argue that though Jesus said to divorce (without the exception for fornication) and remarry is adultery, Paul said it is better for them to marry than to burn with passion. It is a foolish mistake to set Paul against Jesus. Adultery is no better than sexual immorality. Both are sin. No man, not even an apostle like Paul, has the right to set aside Jesus’ law. Rather, Paul’s words must be qualified by Jesus’ law of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. If not, it becomes completely irrelevant and unnecessary. Can we use our lack of self-control to justify gluttony, rape, or murder? Of course, not. So then how can we use it to justify what Jesus calls adultery? “Just go ahead, divorce, marry somebody else, even if you violate Jesus’ law because Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” “Certainly not! Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar” (Rom. 3:9).
 
Verses 10-16
 
Let’s first notice the way Paul began this section “Now to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord”. Paul simply wanted them to know that what he was writing here, the Lord had already spoken Himself when He was on the earth. Jesus clearly taught that a husband and wife are not to “separate” (Mat. 19:6, Gk. chorizo). Jesus used the same word that Paul used in this passage translated “depart.” The word means “to place room between, i.e. part; reflexively, to go away:--depart, put asunder, separate” (Strong’s Greek). This word not only includes leaving/deserting a spouse but also divorcing (Gk. apoluo “from apo and luo; to free fully, i.e. (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively, depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon or (specially) divorce -- (let) depart, dismiss, divorce, forgive, let go, loose, put (send) away, release, set at liberty” and apostasion “neuter of a (presumed) adjective from a derivative of aphistemi; properly, something separative, i.e. (specially) divorce -- (writing of) divorcement”) (Strong’s Greek) a spouse (that was the subject of Jesus’ discussion in Matthew 19:3-12). Paul also used another word translated “divorce” (Gk. aphiemi). This word comes from apo and hiemi, which means “(to send; an intensive form of eimi), to go; to send forth, in various applications including forsake, leave, put (send) away” (Strong’s Greek). So, we have several different words which may be used for leaving/deserting, putting away, or divorcing one’s spouse. What did Paul say about these things?
 
A wife is not to “depart” from her husband and a husband is not to “divorce” his wife (vv. 10-11). To do so (without the exception of sexual immorality that Jesus gave in Matthew 19:9) is sin. Some have the idea that they can separate, leave, put away, or divorce their mate as long as they don’t marry another, but Paul made it clear that all of these things are forbidden by God, just as Jesus had taught when He said, “what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mat. 19:6).
 
But what should such a person do if he has already committed such sin? “[R]emain unmarried (i.e., to anyone else) or (i.e., and make every effort possible to) be reconciled to her husband (indicating she is still bound to him as his wife by God's law)."  As we learn from Romans 7:2-3, such persons are still bound to each other as husband and wife by God’s law of marriage and to contract another marriage would be to commit the further sin of adultery and undermine any hopes for reconciliation.

Let me take just a moment to address some who have misunderstood or misapplied these verses to those who are abused in their marriages. Such people may call upon the government to have their spouse arrested. Some out of self defense may have to leave the house and/or hide from their abusers. They may have to harm, even kill their abusers in an act of self-defense. Paul’s words did not forbid someone from protecting themselves but from ever “walking out” on their marriage (i.e., being husband or wife to your spouse). Even if you are being abused you must never give up on your marriage but continue to pray for, do what you can for, and try to get help for your abusive spouse.

A Christian is not allowed to “divorce” a non-Christian if the non-Christian is willing to live with the Christian (vv. 12-14). Notice, Paul began this section differently than he did in the previous section. Instead of “Now to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord”, he wrote, “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say”. Jesus did not speak of the things Paul discussed here when He was on the earth. This does not mean that what Paul said is not from the Lord because Paul is writing as an apostle to whom Jesus had by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit revealed these things (1 Cor. 1:1; 14:37; cf. Gal. 1:1, 11-12). Paul’s words here are just as true and authoritative as what Jesus taught while on earth. Paul did not and could not contradict what Jesus had already spoken, but simply provided us with additional information from the Lord as he did in all his inspired writings. Notice, these words are directed “to the rest”, that is the rest of the married which are identified as believers married to unbelievers (i.e., Christians married to non-Christians, cf. vv. 14-16 – brother, saved vs unbeliever; 1 Cor. 6:6; 10:27; 14:22-24 church vs unbeliever vs convicted, converted, worshipper). Not all who believe are Christians but only true believers who have obeyed the gospel repenting of their sins, confessing their faith and being baptized for the remission of sins (Mat. 28:19; Mark 16:15-16; John 3:5; 12:42-43; Acts 2:38-41, 47; 11:26; 22:16; 26:27-29; Rom. 6:3-4; 1 Cor. 12:13; Gal. 3:26-27; 1 Pet. 4:16). Such marriages did not exist while Jesus was on the earth which may explain why He did not specifically speak to such marriages.
 
Paul taught that a Christian is not allowed to leave/desert, put away, or divorce a non-Christian if the non-Christian is willing to live with the Christian. God’s law for marriage, divorce, and remarriage is just the same for these marriages as for all others. Marriage was instituted from the beginning for all people, long before Christians and the church. It is not an institution just for the church but for all of society. When Paul said that a Christian is not permitted to leave the non-Christian, this implied that the marriage was recognized and acceptable to God. If a marriage is acceptable, then so are the children of such a marriage. As Paul added, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy” (v. 14). The Christian is God’s means of calling by the gospel the non-Christian spouse and the children unto Himself in faith. However, Paul realized that the non-Christian may not be content to live with the Christian and may attempt to leave the marriage. What then?
 
If a non-Christian “departs”, the Christian is to let him depart; the Christian is “not under bondage” in such cases (vv. 15-16). Under these circumstances, the Christian is to allow the non-Christian to depart the marriage; he is not enslaved to the non-Christian. He must not compromise his faith to persuade the non-Christian to stay with him nor should the Christian in any way force the non-Christian to remain in the marriage. The Christian has been called by God to live in peace and cannot know whether he will be able to save the non-Christian.
 
This does not mean that the Christian is no longer bound in marriage to the non-Christian, and thus, free to remarry as some have wrongly assumed. I say this for several reasons: 1) The word “bondage” (v. 15, Gk. dedoulōtai from doulos) occurs in some form 133 times in the New Testament and is never used of the marriage bond. It speaks of slavery, not marriage. In this chapter, Paul always uses a different word (Gk. deo) when speaking of the marriage bond (vv. 27, 39; cf. Rom. 7:2). 2) Verse 15 literally says that the Christian “is not nor has he ever been under bondage (or, enslaved) (perfect indicative) in such cases (or, to such persons, cf. 1 Cor. 16:16; 2 The. 3:12).” This cannot refer to the marriage bond because the Christian is bound in marriage and is still bound in marriage to the non-Christian both before and after he leaves the marriage (cf. Rom. 7:2-3). 3) Such a teaching would contradict Jesus’ law of marriage, divorce, and remarriage in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (cf. Mark 10:11-12 which shows the same law would apply to a wife that divorces her husband). Notice, Jesus’ law applies to “whoever”. That’s everybody, including the Christian married to the non-Christian (cf. Mat. 28:18-20). Jesus said, “except for sexual immorality”. That means for this cause only; there can be no other exception. Paul could not have given those abandoned by their non-Christian spouses the right to divorce (except for sexual immorality) without contradicting Jesus Himself. He does give additional information from the Lord for those Christians who had questions about their marriages to non-Christians.
 
Christ died for our sins and rose again to set us free to live a new, abundant, and eternal life. We can only do that when we listen to Him and follow His words. Paul, His apostle, taught the sanctity of marriage just as the Lord did. Their teaching is very restrictive, but as it is with all of God’s commandments they are “for our good always” (Deu. 6:24). Paul teaches that we must not separate, leave, put away, or divorce, while Jesus gives the only exception: “for sexual immorality.” If we so sin, we must not seek another to marry but make every effort to be reconciled to our spouse. If our non-Christian spouse chooses to leave us, we must let them. We are not enslaved to them but must continue to faithfully follow the Lord.
 
Verses 17-40
 
Paul advised the Corinthians against marriage (vv. 25-40), but also to remain as they are regarding their marital status (vv. 17-24). This advice to not marry was inspired by the Holy Spirit because of the present distress and to keep them from being distracted in their service to the Lord (vv. 25-40). For these same reasons, Paul also advised them to remain as they are regarding their marital status, that is, if they are married, remain married; if they are unmarried, remain unmarried. He helped them to understand this by applying the same principle to circumcision and slavery (vv. 17-24). Whether one is married or not is no more a matter of salvation than whether one is circumcised or a slave. So, it is not necessary to change one’s marital status. This, of course, does not mean that one can remain in a sinful or unlawful marriage. No one has the right to disobey God’s law of marriage, divorce, and remarriage given by Jesus Himself (Mat. 19:9; Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7). As Paul explained, what matters is “keeping the commandments of God” (v. 19).
 
Paul expressly taught the Corinthians that whether one chooses to marry or not to marry they do not sin (vv. 8-9, 25, 28, 36, 39-40). It is good for some to remain unmarried, and better for others to marry, but each one is free to choose for themselves. Unless, of course, as we mentioned above it would cause one to enter or remain in a marriage that was in violation of God’s law concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
 
Paul allowed remarriage, but there was a stipulation – “only in the Lord” (v. 39). Let’s notice first, that Paul addressed a widow whose husband was a Christian. This is indicated by the term translated “dies” (literally “fallen asleep”), used only of Christians in the New Testament. In this case she is free to remarry. This is consistent with what Paul wrote about marriage and remarriage in Romans 7:2-3. This is God’s law of marriage governing all persons not just Christians which goes back to the beginning long before Christ’s church existed. Therefore, though Paul was speaking of a specific case in 1 Corinthians 7, all persons who lose their spouses to death are free to remarry.
 
Second, let’s notice that though Paul allowed the widow to remarry, there was a stipulation – “only in the Lord.” This is an adverbial phrase modifying the verb “to be married.” It is not an adjectival phrase modifying the personal pronoun “whom.” It does not describe whom she must marry but how she must marry. Paul is not saying she must marry only a Christian but that she must marry only as a Christian (i.e., being faithful to Christ). She must not compromise her faith in the Lord nor violate His will to marry anyone. This, of course, is true not only regarding remarriage, but in all things, Christians must be faithful to Christ.
 
The prepositional phrase “in the Lord” is applied by Paul in this way (as an adverbial phrase modifying the verb) regarding many other things (e.g., Acts 14:3 “speaking boldly in the Lord;” Rom. 16:12 “labored in the Lord;” 1 Cor. 1:31 “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD;” 11:11 “neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord;” Eph. 6:1 where it modifies the verb obey, not the parents, as obedience to parents is required of children whether their parents are Christians or not, cf. Col. 3:20; Col. 3:18 where it modifies the verb submit, not the husband, as submitting to one’s husband is required of wives whether their husbands are Christians or not, cf. 1 Pet. 3:1-6; Rev. 14:13 “die in the Lord”). The Christian must be faithful to Christ in everything, including marriage.
 
There are those who insist Paul taught that no Christian can marry any non-Christian under any circumstances. Support for this view is sometimes based on 2 Corinthians 6:14ff. In this passage, Paul is not condemning any and all relationships with non-Christians (e.g., friendship like Jesus had with sinners, working together, conducting business, entering into contracts, playing on the same sports team) but being “unequally yoked” with them (i.e., so joined to them that they cause us to endorse, condone, support, or participate with them in their sinfulness, cf. John 17:11-19). Paul explicitly said to separate from such relationships (v. 17). This shows that Paul did not here forbid marriage of a Christian to a non-Christian because in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, he commanded Christians not to leave their non-Christian spouses recognizing such marriages as acceptable (1 Cor. 7:12-14; cf. 1 Pet. 3:1). You cannot set what Paul taught in one place against what he taught in another place. If it is sinful to enter a marriage with a non-Christian, we can only logically conclude that it is sinful to remain in such a marriage. Since it is not sinful to remain in such a marriage, it cannot be sinful to enter such a marriage.
 
Finally, though one may not sin simply by marrying a non-Christian does not mean that it is necessarily wise to do so. Some believe that they will convert their non-Christian spouses, but Paul taught that they do not know if they will (1 Cor. 7:16). Marrying a non-Christian may make it more difficult for you to be a Christian and hinder your children from becoming or living as a Christian. Anyone considering marrying a non-Christian should consider the consequences of such a decision very carefully before entering such a relationship for the rest of their lives (Jam. 1:5).